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Vegans are Sexier, Even the Bible Says So

(Warning: NSFW images of fruit ahead)

It’s time veganism got sexy. There’s too many people asking things like, “are vegans skinny and weak”, or “are vegetarians more likely to be anemic.”

If word got out that veganism is sexy, such questions wouldn’t arise so much. Or to put it another way, that vegans are better in bed.

The standard line here would be that vegans don’t have the cholesterol, so have better arteries, which means more and better blood flow to the nether regions. And that’s a reasonable argument, and fairly obvious too.

And a bit boring.

PETA do at least try to spice things up a little.
cow
There’s another PETA ad on YouTube where they point to increased stamina which comes from being vegan. And there’s a non-vegan who fails in bed and then a piano falls on his head.
But is veganism inherently sexy?

Celebs and pornstars

We can start off gently by going into celeb country. Which is fair enough because they have to keep up appearances, which is harder if you’re unhealthy. There’s a reasonably well-known bloke, called Brad Pitt. He’s been a vegan for most of his life, or so I’m led to believe from various sources, including quotes from himself. And he has at times looked like this:

brad pitt vegan
And this.

vegan brad snatch
Point is, he looks healthier than anyone you’ve ever met. He also doesn’t look like he’s done the standard male Hollywood thing of taking various junk like steroids, Nitrix and HGH. By the way steroids are derived from animals too, as are vaccines. Just like those fraudulent protein powders are derived from milk.
So in all likelihood, if you look like that you’ll feel good and virile and you’ll feel all the good feelings there are to feel when you’re having sex. You’ll have more stamina and power, and so on.

Also, it turns out that veganism, or at least strict vegetarianism, is referred to as the “porn diet” over in the San Fernando Valley (that’s Porn Valley to you) in Cali. Seems all porno actors and actresses eat a plant-based diet. Given that they’re all sex objects by profession, that’s got to be a strong “thrust” in favour of the “sexy vegan” argument (as to whether they “swallow” and whether that’s vegan or moral, well that’s another story). That counts for the guys too. In addition to appearance and performance, they claim that a vegan diet makes them “taste” better.

Food Porn

The world of fruit and veg is the world of sex, it needs to be said.
sexy apple
The word Avocado comes from a Nahuatl Indian (Aztec) word “ahuácatl” meaning testicle.

sexy avocados
This is breadfruit, no kidding:
sexy breadfruit
Puts a new spin on “give us this day our daily bread”, doesn’t it?

Cantaloupe:
sexy cantaloupe
With the fig, we’re getting into Biblical territory:

sexy fig
sexy tree
The Renaissance masters knew it – fruit and veg are metaphors for sex, and for good reason.

Then there’s grapes, intimately associated with Dionysus, who himself is another avatar of Christ (born of a virgin on December 25th, died and resurrected after 3 days, etc.).
sexy grapes
sexy dionysus
Remember the Eucharist, bread and wine, right? And we’ve already seen the “bread”, haha.

And what could be more biblical, or more sexual, than the apple?

sexy apple
Then there’s peaches, of course. And mangoes:

sexy peach
sexy mango
And we can’t move on without my favourite fruit:

sexy strawberry
No need to post a banana, turnip or carrot. You’re getting the idea, right? Even though I’m showing you undoctored pics of unadorned fruit, this is already resembling a porno site.

There’s even an artist online who “probes” this idea quite thoroughly:

sexy lemon
Now, I’m not one of those vegans who likes to shock and outrage. I could very easily contrast all the above delightful images with a picture of a freshly slaughtered calf or piglet, or some other blood-spattered horror. But since I’ve already introduced those images into your mind, we’ll leave it at that and move on.

Oh, wait, there’s always Damien Hirst:

cow
Creepy? You bet. This is the world we live in.

We’ve already touched on Scripture with Dionysus and the Eucharist. Sexual immorality in the Bible is always linked with the carnal mind. Which means meat, or flesh – I feel I should emphasise that.

Bible says meat and dairy are cursed non-foods

So let’s explore the Bible a little.

Going back to Dionysus for a bit, or Bacchus, as he was otherwise known, he’s basically the original “sex god.” To this day, and in popular culture too. Observe Jim Morrison, dressed up exactly like Dionysus. And the template for every other rock n roller who wishes to project sex god status to sell more albums.

jim morrison dionysus

And Dionysus is the god of grapes and wine.

Not the god of meat. Or cheese.

There is no god of meat. There’s a goddess of grains.

But no god of flesh. Flesh is condemned throughout all scriptures of all religions, as is blood. Always associated with weakness, toil and tears.

Genesis 9:4, KJV: “But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.”

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think that the bible could make a clearer statement in support of veganism. Blood, that’s meat and milk, you shall not eat it.

Is there any ambiguity there?

See, there’s life force in torn flesh and blood and the discharge of a mothering cow. But it’s animal life force, and the life force of a sorry, diseased animal at that.

And how about:

Leviticus 7:26: Moreover ye shall eat no manner of blood, whether it be of fowl or of beast, in any of your dwellings.

In fact Leviticus goes on a crusade on this point:

Leviticus 3:17: It shall be a perpetual statute for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that ye eat neither fat nor blood.

Leviticus 7:25 For whosoever eateth the fat of the beast, of which men offer an offering made by fire unto the LORD, even the soul that eateth it shall be cut off from his people.

So the bible is saying that meat and dairy are cursed. Could these curses include:

  • Cancer – (liver & kidney breakdown)
  • High blood pressure, breaking down the blood vessels.
  • Colitis – meat and milk contain faecal bacteria. E Coli. Meat and dairy eaters are eating a large amount of animal poo Just like the cows were in Britain that were incinerated after the outbreak of Mad Cow Disease and its human equivalent, Creutzfeldt Jacob Disease.
  • Degenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s etc.
  • Uric acid, leading to arthritis, kidney stones gallstones, rheumatism and gout.
  • Headaches, myopia & blindness.
  • Male pattern baldness
  • CVD & heart attacks (cue jokes about old rich guys taking a trophy wife and checking out the next day).
  • Osteoporosis

Intriguingly, and tellingly, meat and dairy has also been linked to homosexuality in men and masculinisation of women.

And hey, how about this one:

Erectile dysfunction.

ED is a bit like osteoporosis and CVD: endemic in the West, unknown in vegetarian areas. Ask any Viagra salesman.

Funny that eating meat is supposed to be manly, when for men there’s also impotence, prostate cancer, smaller penis, cancer of the penis, breast growth and infertility.

Hair

Hair and sexual power have always been closely linked, even before Samson, while we’re on a Biblical theme.

It’s pretty well-known that just about every race in the world other
than whites stay well away from dairy, or else suffer badly. Blacks,
Asians, Polynesians, you name it. The Chinese don’t go bald until they
“go West.” I always liked this blog comment:

dairy & baldness

And for guys there’s another “large” benefit in addition to getting your hair back, and that’s a larger endowment.

There’s anecdotal reports here and here that losing lower belly fat adds like an inch per inch to the D, so there’s that. I doubt there have been any academic studies on this, but then mainstream “medicine” was denying the existence of the clitoris until relatively recently, and still can’t decide whether or not the G-spot and female ejaculation actually exist. So I guess we can say they won’t help us much here anyway.

Veganism – Natural Viagra

As ever then, our best evidence has to come from direct observation of people living it.

One of the best paragraphs I’ve read in support of veganism comes from the typewriter of John McDougall, and does relate directly to sex:

vegan diet for sex
Good note to end on. As ever I’d love to hear any comments you may have.

Iain

2 Comments

  1. A very interesting post, Iain. Good enough to have me thinking I should revert to my vegetarian ways. Yes, I used to be vegetarian. Then not. Today, I eat vegetarian food when I can (meaning when I am alone and not dining with anyone). I will endeavor to have more vegetarian and even vegan food from now on.

    The part about hair loss related to dairy products I’m 54 years old. And my hair is thinning. Is it too late to stop taking dairy products? Will my hair grow back after I stop?

    • Thanks Timotheus. Never too late to start, as they say. I have actually heard of spontaneous regrowth of hair after going vegan long term. I think it would take at least a year though. In the meantime, you wouldn’t be losing any more hair at least. Best of luck trying more vegan food, take it easy.

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